Not only is that the title of one of my favorite songs (by the Dogs D'amour, the best band no one has ever heard of), it aptly describes me. I got home Friday about 4:45 with the wind already ripping from the approach of Hurricane Katrina. I put the 12-pack of beer that had been sitting in my car since lunchtime in the fridge and pulled a couple of extra ice trays from storage, filled them with water and placed them in the freezer so I would have plenty of ice for the evening. I had just sat down at the computer to check the latest forecast when my electricity went out. Doh! The storm hadn't even hit yet and I would be stuck with warm beer and not enough ice to enjoy Jack on-the-rocks all night. Not to mention the fact that I leave my A.C. set at 80 when I'm out and I didn't have a chance to at least cool the place down. Fuck me. It was gonna be a long, uncomfortable night...
So I pulled out a battery powered radio and a flashlight. I turned on the radio and made myself comfortable on my bed. There wasn't much to do with Katrina on our doorstep so I rolled onto my side and fell asleep around 5:30. Around 7:30 I was awoken by my ringing telephone. It was friend Bruce, asking me how I was. I told him I was fine. He asked what was going on, and I told him nothing. He asked what it was like "over there" and I replied "business as usual, why?" He then reminded me that we were in the middle of a hurricane. If he hadn't said anything I wouldn't have remembered; it was as quiet as any other day outside. The eastern part of the hurricane had passed and the eye was passing over where I live in Hollywood. It was eerie. When I was falling asleep I could hear the wind howling outside my bedroom, but now it was dead silent. It was eerier to him that I had slept through the first half of a hurricane.
It wasn't a surprise to me--I sleep through just about anything. I'm amazed I actually heard the phone ring. When Hurricane Andrew hit in '92 (a much bigger storm), I slept through that as well, although I must admit I was so terrified that night waiting for it I was doing shots of peppermint schnapps to ease my nerves. I fell asleep before the shit hit the fan and only woke up because the windows in my bedroom were rattling and my mother was concerned so she woke me up and told me to go sleep in the hallway. So I got up, grabbed my pillow, went to the hallway and went back to sleep until it was all over. When I sleep, I sleep. That's why I have 2 alarm clocks.
So once Bruce had me awake, I got up to survey the situation. No damage to my apartment and from what I could see out the window there was no catastrophe. Within a half an hour the wind picked up again as the western side of the storm approached. I called Mom and Dad to check on them. They were fine but had just lost power themselves. With nothing to do but wait it out, I poured myself a Jack on-the-rocks, perched myself on my loveseat in front of the living room windows and watched the trees dancing in the wind. I spent the rest of the evening having a couple more Jack's while listening to the radio. I thought about the 'ex' and considered sending her a text message to make sure she was okay, as around this time last year during another hurricane I had sent her a message to check up her. We went on 3 dates a month earlier but I was seeing another gal as well and thought I should make a choice, so I chose the other gal, who I had been on more dates with. The other gal didn't do it for me and I regretted not continuing to see the 'ex', which I explained to her in our text conversation, which eventually led to us talking on the phone, which eventually led to us dating again, which eventually led to me falling in love with her, which eventually led to me getting my heart broken. But I restrained myself and didn't message her. Around 11:30 I fell asleep for the night.
I woke up at a quarter to 7 to find no damage to my apartment. From my windows I could see there were some tree branches down but all structures within view were intact. I couldn't get a signal on my cell phone and my land line was dead, but I was thankful I made it through relatively unscathed. I was concerned about my folks but couldn't call to check on them and on the radio they were warning people not to venture outside due to downed power lines. So I sat in bed listening to the radio. It was around that time when I wondered why they make battery operated radios and televisions but not fans. This is south Florida for fuck's sake, it's like living in an oven. How has nobody come up with this idea yet? Do you know how much money you could make selling this? Note to self...
I drifted back to sleep around 11 and slept until the phone rang at 12:30. Once again it was friend Bruce, cursing me for telling him yesterday I wished the hurricane made a sharp right turn and went right over his house, which it did. I don't recall why I said it, but I'm sure I had a good reason. But he had the last laugh as his electricity came back on at 11 p.m. Friday night, his satellite dish was functioning, and he had cold beer in his fridge. Funny-talking douchebag (he's from South Africa). Now that my phone was working I called to check on Mom and Dad. They were fine, but without power as well. I took a cold shower (a battery powered water heater wouldn't be a bad idea either) and ventured outside to head over to their house. I was pleased to find my car intact. Ohhh, how nice it was to get in the car and turn on the A.C. On the way I noticed plenty of branches and trees down and several traffic lights out but no structural damage. Fortunately, Katrina was only a category 1 hurricane. We got off easy. Here are some pics:
Katrina 1
Katrina 2
As far as the traffic lights, I took my driver's test 21 years ago (damn, that makes me feel so fucking old) but I remember that when the light is out at an intersection it becomes the same as a 4-way stop sign. I can possibly understand people not knowing that the left lane of a highway is for passing, slower traffic KEEP RIGHT, but how do you forget this? I can't tell you how many assholes I saw blowing through intersections or people honking at me for stopping where the traffic light was out. You should be required to take an IQ test before being allowed to breed...
I picked up Mom, Dad and a load of meat (Dad had made an ill-advised trip to the butcher Friday) and headed to my great aunt and uncle's place, as their electricity had been on since 11 Friday night. After filling their freezer, I spent some time with my great uncle Marty. It was depressing; as much as I hate to say it, he looks like he's on death's door. Despite Mom telling me he was always mean and rotten to everyone, including his wife (my great aunt Shirley) and his kids (my cousins Richard and Judith), he was never anything but great to me; he treated me like I was his own grandson. When I was young, he would come by our house every day and spend time with me, giving my Mom a welcome break. I'll never forget walking on the beach with him as he taught me to 'pop' washed up jellyfish by throwing rocks at them (very cool, try it sometime), catching my first snake with him, and watching football with him, gaining insight a young boy could only get from a former player (he excelled at it but never went pro due to a back injury). Most of my relatives might say he was not a 'great' man, but he was to me. Truly a 'great' uncle.
Okay, sorry for the sentimental detour; I may be a relentless prick, but I do have a heart. So Mom, Dad and I leave for the Aventura Mall to get Dad a new cell phone charger for Dad's car. After I dropped them off I went home to find the power was restored in my building. Nice. Almost 24 hours, not too bad. Once the A.C. had cooled the place sufficiently, I laid down for a nap as I didn't sleep very soundly in the heat. I woke up at 8:00 p.m. and went out to get some soda, cigarettes and pistachio ice cream from a convenience store. On the way, I called friend Bruce and sarcastically told him I would not be taking him up on his offer to sleep at his place if my power did not come back on. He replied "I don't recall making that offer," to which I said "exactly you prick!" I was just busting his balls, that's what I do.
So I have A.C., television (no cable yet but I'm not complaining), my beer eventually cooled and my freezer turned trays of water into ice, and my family and friends are all safe and sound. I'm content. It's been a stressful and uncomfortable 24 hours so I'm gonna get drunk and eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's pistachio ice cream. We made it through Hurricane Katrina relatively unscathed, but it really makes you think about going through a category 4 or 5 storm. I'm a godless heathen so I don't pray, but my best wishes go out to those in the panhandle who will be paid a visit by her within the next few days. And I hope anyone you might know down here made it through as successfully as I did.
Mother Nature sure can be a fuckin' bitch.
Recent Comments