Convictions, Nephew Ross, sex after marriage, and cats

I'm still a little hung up on this week's developments concerning the attitudes of others regarding my opinions.  Let me get this straight: it's a character flaw to have strong opinions, convictions or be outspoken.  So, what, it's more desirable for someone to be a fucking jellyfish -- to be passionate or feel strongly about nothing, have no convictions, and just bite your tongue, not speak up about anything?  People apparently prefer their friends, family and lovers to be mindless automatons, or at least act like one.  "Don't rock the boat; whatever you do, just don't make any fucking waves."  So, I'm opinionated, passionate, full of convictions, and not afraid to speak my mind (although you'd be hard pressed to point out the last time I hurt someone's feelings), and none of those are good things.  People's priorities and estimation of what is or isn't a virtue these days is appalling.  I'm a good, decent guy (find someone who will tell you otherwise), but none of that matters because I call a spade that is undeniably a spade, a 'spade'.  Instead of being seen as standing for something and being courageous enough to say something about it, I'm considered aggressive, patronizing, closed-minded and disrespectful.  Fuck off; now I'm actually glad that I'm single, have relatively few friends, and keep to myself.

Was talking to my nephew Ross this week and he proudly boasted that he and his girlfriend have been together now for 5 1/2 months. I was thrilled to hear him so happy; he's a great kid, I love him to death and only want the best for him. But there's a catch: he's white (obviously), she's black.  Doesn't matter to me  -- I could care less who he's with as long as he's happy.  My sister Cindy, his Mom, has known about it and feels the same.  My Dad also knows about this, and he could care less either.  My Mom doesn't know about it, and it's gonna stay that way for awhile.  See, I love her to death, but Mom is prejudiced.  The only type of person acceptable for one of her relatives to be involved with is white and Jewish.  I disagree with her stance, and don't let it dictate who I date.  Though sometimes, some things are better left unsaid, and we're gonna keep this secret from Mom for as long as we can.  She's 70, been through 2 open-heart surgeries, and lets insignificant shit like that eat her up.  Her not knowing is for the best.

Speaking of Ross, it's funny, I knew from a very early age that he was gonna be a cool kid.  I spent the summer after my freshman year of college in Hollywood, living with Mom (Mom and Dad were divorced then, but have since re-married).  It was a 2 bedroom place -- I stayed in the spare bedroom.  Ross was just over a year old then, and his crib was in the spare bedroom, so when he stayed over he and I shared the room.  I had a girlfriend at the time who was living with her parents, so when we were amorous, we didn't have to many places where we could get some privacy.  As a result, we usually ended up in my room at Mom's place.  But sometimes Ross was there, sharing the room with me.  It would be the middle of the night, we'd be in the middle of some sort of carnal act and he would wake up.  I would silently pray (I was young, I used to pray sometimes back then) "please, please, please don't start crying," knowing full well that if he did my Mom would come running into the room to fetch him.  You know what, he never did.  He would just sit quietly in his crib staring at us, not making a peep.  It was a little awkward at first, but we were teenagers and our hormones enabled us to ignore him and continue enjoying ourselves.  I hope he picked up a tip or 2 from the 'Creepster'...   

According to this survey, married couples have sex "on average four times a month."  Are you kidding me?  Married people, tell me this isn't true...

When I got home last night no one came to greet me; one of the drags of being a bachelor.  My cat Bella (aka 'The Gargoyle', because she spends roughly 20 hours a day perched on my office chair surveying the goings on) was perched on my office chair, and Josie (aka "The Stealth Cat", because she is always hiding) was hiding.  Big difference from when I got home from work earlier and they both greeted me at the door -- of course, the food bowls were empty.  No food, it's "hey, Daddy's home!  Hi Daddy!"; food, it's "oh, hey, he's home (yaaaaaaaaaawn)".  No wonder people hate cats.  I need to get a fuckin' dog already.  Maybe I'll hit the Humane Society this weekend.

Comments

[Bruce]

That survey is spot on. But I think the fact that it seems to just accept that woman loose their desire is bullshit. There is something they can do about it. You don't have to just accept things for the way they are because that's what happens to other people. Do something about it people. Don't follow like sheep. (Can you tell I am married with a 4 yr old and a 22 month old?)

[Creepy]

I agree, that's like someone who is unfaithful saying "sorry, but I have the urge to sleep with other people, just accept it." I'm not married so I don't proclaim to be an expert, but doesn't marriage include making sacrifices and compromises? It seems awfully selfish to not keep your partner satisfied just because you're never in the mood; suck it up, buckle your chinstrap and take one for the team -- your relationship. Do us men enjoy 'chick flicks'? Fuck no; but we watch them because we are making a sacrifice to make them happy. Isn't that what relationships are all about: making our partner happy?

What exactly do you suggest when you say "do something about it?" Are you referring to my idea of sexual surrogates? You know, like hiring a maid to clean the house to save you the work; hiring a woman to screw your husband because you don't feel like it. LOL

[Bruce3]

No, by do something about it, I mean possibly see a sex therapist. Figure out what you can do to bring back sexual desire for yourself. I agree there are time for sacrifice. But if you find your self alwys taking one for the team, you begin to resent the team. You should figure out what you need so you go and ask the team to give one to you, because you want it.

[Creepy]

Good points. But how does one lose their sex drive? That's really possible? I've been screwing my hand for 7 months now and I'm not tired of it yet, and that's only a hand. Although it pales in comparison to... ***sigh***