The Church of Lost Souls

Happy Halloween!

Sheer hilarity

It's things like this that keep me going.  Oh, the fucking irony...  According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, the definition of 'baptism' is:

"a Christian sacrament marked by ritual use of water and admitting the recipient to the Christian community"

Oh yeah, he's been admitted to a community alright. I guess I'm back to my sick, twisted self again.  Reverend Creepy is back brothers and sisters!  Can I get a "hallelujah motherfucker?"

We're getting there

Yesterday was indeed the best and closest to normal day I've had since Hurricane Wilma hit.  Spent the day at cousin Bruce's watching football games via satellite, drinking beer and barbequing.  Just like we used to do before the storm.  Life has drastically improved for those around me as Mom & Dad, Aunt Carol and Uncle Alan (Bruce's folks), and best friend Rick's parents all had their electricity restored last night, my sister Cindy and nephews Ross & Dru this morning.  I can't tell you what a relief it is that all of our parents are with power again, especially since they're all 60 and older, which makes living in those conditions exponentially more difficult.  Now if my damn cable would just come on... 

Finally, a day of normalcy

Today will be the most normal day since Hurricane Wilma thanks to the good old NFL.  Cousin Bruce got his electricity back Friday and his satellite dish is working so I will enjoy my usual Sunday routine, watching the football games on his couch while enjoying some suds.  Finally, some semblance of normalcy. 

I have some christian broadcast on the TV in the background as I wait for the NFL pregame show to begin on Fox and just heard some bimbo talking about "teaching you how to be obedient to god."  What, are you supposed to be his/her fucking lapdog?  He sure does require you to jump through quite a few hoops for salvation.  I can tell you, if I was god it would be a hell of a lot easier to appease me, not to mention an awful lot more fun.

What is it with TV weather girls?  Is it a prerequisite that you be hot or have great cans?  I was watching channel 10 this morning and the weather gal was a redhead named Jayce Birch. 

 

Hoo-fah...  What a pair of jugs on her; they were hypnotizing.  I didn't see any of the maps or radars she was showing because I couldn't take my eyes off her tits.  It looked like she was smuggling a pair of cantaloupes in her shirt.  Gotta love all the hurricane coverage on TV...

For any friends of fellow blogger Judi (Confessions of a Closet Masochist), I finally saw her this morning.  She called me and placed a delivery order for some grocery items since she has very little fuel in her car.  So I went to Publix, then brought her the requested items: a loaf of whole wheat bread, a jar of peanut butter (creamy, in case you were curious), a jar of strawberry jelly and a box of Pop Tarts (the smores variety).  Life is pretty simple without electricity, huh?  But she's in good spirits, got laid this weekend, and rationing her pot to make it last so she's hanging in there.

Well, I'm off to enjoy a football and cold beer.  Keep in touch with yourselves... 

I've got gas!

Not the kind you get from eating Mexican food, the kind you put in your car.  After buying an antenna for my TV so I can get more than 1 channel, Mom and I decided to try to get some fuel since we were both at or below a quarter of a tank.  We went to a nearby Exxon/Mobil and discovered the line of cars wasn't too long so we agreed to wait (Mom's is the red car at the far right of the picture):

   

The University of Miami football game was on the radio so I had something to pass the time.  But surprisingly, it only took us 15 minutes to get to a pump.  Our good luck continued when we found not only were they taking credit cards, but there was no limit so we were able to fill our tanks.  This was the view from my pump:

 

Both of our cars are now fueled up so we are set for the next week or so.  In other good news, Mom & Dad found battery-operated TVs with 5 inch screens.  This should lift Dad's spirits; he can watch college football today and pro football tomorrow (as long as it's not on cable).  Of course, they bought 2, so they can each watch their own programs, like they normally do.  And Mom is ecstatic that she can watch 'Desperate Housewives' tomorrow night, which she's been worried about all week.  Me?  I'm happy that their life is slowly improving.

Alcohol soaked thoughts

Brothers and sisters, reverend Creepy is drunk.  I've done quite a few shots of Jack between many beers so please excuse any stupidity or political incorrectness (at least any more than usual).  In addition, please excuse the inaneness of this post -- I'm a single guy, living alone, and trashed; talking to my cats just doesn't cut it sometimes...

I quit playing Madden 2006 on Xbox after losing to the Patriots in the playoffs and am now listening to Marilyn Manson's "Mechanical Animals" at a volume that is probably pissing my neighbors off, but fuck them -- at least the guy upstairs who is always playing his guitar (poorly I might add) when I am in most need of quiet time.  Funny thing about Mr. Manson: his image is what made and keeps him famous, but it keeps him from being taken seriously.  If you can get past that and actually listen to what he has to say you might be impressed.  He's a very, bright guy, as up on history, philosophy, religion and politics as anyone.  In 'Bowling For Columbine' Michael Moore asked him what he would have said to the shooters, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.  His response?  "I wouldn't have said anything, I would have listened to them.  That's what happened; nobody listened to them."  In his tune "Fight Song" he says "Isolation is the oxygen mask we give our children to survive."  Sure, he wears lipstick, crossdresses, and goes out of his way to spit in the face of convention, but don't we embrace people who think 'out of the box' these days? 

Why the fuck is Paris Hilton getting acting jobs in major movies?  My friend Wayne (see his link under my 'Friends') has worked his ass off in various acting schools, is a great looking guy and a fine actor but he hasn't been handed a role in a big movie like 'House of Wax' because of who he is or who he knows.  He's busting his ass in L.A. waiting for his shot while untalented, privileged children like that emaciated skank with colored contact lenses (her natural eye color is brown; look it up on the web) take roles from people who actually deserve them.  And people wonder why I'm disgruntled.  "The rich get fat and the poor just stay that way..."

I am a hand grenade that never stopped exploding...

Creep

A few thoughts

When my folks showed up for dinner tonight, Mom walked in with a bottle of toilet cleaner.  I asked her what it was for and she replied "I'm cleaning your toilet."  I have 1 and 1/2 bathrooms, and the toilet she was referring to was in the 1/2 bathroom (the 'guest' bathroom).  I rarely use that toilet; it didn't look like something you'd find in a frat house, it just had a ring at the water line because of the funky water in my building (it turns my shower pink in days, and I don't even give it to my cats -- they get bottled water).  I reminded Mom that she's 69, I wasn't gonna let her clean my toilet.  I would do it when they left.  After an uneventful meal, Dad goes into the same bathroom to take a leak before they leave.  When he emerged, he announced "you've gotta clean that toilet."  I guess some parents just can't stop parenting...

Friend Bruce (who lives in Coconut Grove) and cousin Bruce (who lives in Hollywood) both called tonight to let me know they have power.  Hopefully Mom & Dad get theirs tomorrow -- I'm beginning to worry about Dad.  Then again, if they get electricity but no cable he won't be satisfied because he still can't watch sports.  When they came over for dinner last night he mentioned that he wanted to watch the Virginia Tech-Boston College game.  I told him my cable was still out and only got ABC.  He grumbled, then asked why I don't have cable.  I had to explain to him that I indeed subscribe to cable TV, but my cable was out due to the storm.  He just grumbled some more.

As I was walking up to a Walgreens today to pick up a prescription I noticed a guy sitting up against the wall of the building.  As I got closer, he said to me "only Jesus."  Not sure I understood him, I said "excuse me?"  Once again, he said "only Jesus."  Normally I could finish that sentence a hundred different blasphemous ways, but due to the situation down here I didn't have it in me, so I just replied "no comment dude."  I just didn't have it in me.  Although yesterday I went out to lunch with co-worker Shrek (aka Chris, the Jehovah's Witness), his wife Kathy, their 1 1/2 year-old son Sean, and the other Chris who works with us.  While we were waiting for our meal, Shrek and Kathy were telling us how Sean replies to any question you ask him with "yes."  "Sean, do you want some chicken?"  "Yes."  "Sean, do you love Mommy?"  "Yes."  "Sean, do you want to play with your Legos?"  "Yes."  Then I said "Sean, do you worship Satan?  Yes."  Kathy didn't see the humor in that, saying something along the lines of "oh my gosh, don't say that."  She was obviously upset.  But I thought it was funny...

I've got some news show on in the background and they're doing a feature on Geena Davis, who's playing a female president in some TV show.  The reporter just said that in a recent poll, forty-something percent of those polled said they would not vote for a female presidential candidate.  What fucking year is this???  Nearly half of those asked would not vote for a female, regardless of how qualified she was?  That's unconscionable.  So much for any faith I gained in the human race in the aftermath of the storm...

The chaos continues

The latest update I heard on the news a few minutes ago: electricity has been restored to roughly 50% of Miami-Dade County, approximately 26% of Broward County (where my family and I live) -- each county has about a million residents.  We are being told it could take until November 22nd for everyone to be with power again.  Of course, I'm among the 26% in Broward fortunate enough to have that luxury; but none of the rest of my family does and it pains me.  I'm trying to be as gracious as possible but I live in a 1 bedroom apartment.  Last night I brought home Chinese food (most of Miami Lakes, where I work, has electricity) and had Mom and Dad over for dinner.  Afterwards, Dad shaved (he only uses electric razors) and took his first hot shower since the storm hit early Monday morning.  He said he felt like a "new man."  Today my Mom and cousin Nancy spent some time here doing laundry and enjoying the air conditioning.  Nancy asked if she could bring her 1 1/2 year-old daughter, my cousin Sarah, by for a warm bath tonight, to which I replied "absolutely."  I know what the residents of South Florida are going through pales in comparison to what those in Louisiana and Mississippi went through (and are still going through), but it certainly qualifies as hardship.  And it's hard not to feel guilty when your electricity came back on after only 60 hours.  That may seem like a long time, but tell that to everyone else down here.  So I'm trying to do my best to offer a hot meal, hot shower, or time in air conditioning to anyone I can.

I arrived at work this morning to learn our generator had failed overnight and there was no work to be done.  My fellow employees and I spent most of the day commiserating as a few people ran around frantically trying to get servers up and running.  One of the guys brought down bottles of Ouzo, Metaxa and Kahlua from his office and we all had a few drinks to pass the time.  That Metaxa, a Greek liquor, is strong stuff -- I highly recommend it.  Around 2:00 my supervisor Iris told me to go home as there was no sense just sitting there.  On my way home, I stopped at the Publix in Miami Lakes to attempt to do my weekly grocery shopping.  It was slim pickings but I did the best I could.  There were very few perishables, however the deli counter was open so I bought a pound of turkey, a pound of ham, and a half pound of American cheese, to go along with a couple of frozen pizzas, a loaf of bread, cans of soup, pretzels, potato chips, soda, iced tea, half a watermelon, and of course beer.  I was blown away to find ice cream in the freezer section so I bought a gallon of chocolate chip for Mom.  I know she'll love being able to enjoy cold ice cream, something she eats daily (or at least she did before Wilma).  That will be dessert after we eat sandwiches for dinner.  The store was a chaotic scene, with many hungry people and many empty shelves, but surprisingly, every Publix employee I dealt with was beyond gracious: the woman at the deli counter, the stock guy who offered to go into the back and search for a loaf a rye bread for me despite being in the middle of stocking shelves, and the lady bagging my groceries who was so pleasant and smiling as if she had just won the lottery.  You wouldn't think these people would be in such good spirits after hours of dealing with a testy, stressed out mob of customers constantly complaining about the store lacking particular items and waiting in long lines.  Maybe they're just happy to be back at work as it brings some semblance of normalcy to their lives, which have been turned upside down this past week. 

Another pleasant surprise in the aftermath of the storm is the decency many people are showing towards their neighbors.  Almost everyone I speak to has a story about people living next door who have generators allowing them to run an extension cord to power their refrigerator, use their bathrooms for a hot shower, or watch some television for distraction.  Or people with gas grills feeding them, allowing them to heat their canned foods, or boil water to prepare formula for their babies.  Every now and then the human race can throw even a staunch cynic like myself a curve and show a hint of compassion...

The hottest (and hardest to find) commodity remains gasoline.  There are enormous lines outside the few gas stations that have electricity or generators, with the wait at least several hours.  On top of that, they are only taking cash and limiting purchases to $30.  I'm under an eighth of a tank in my car so I'm driving Mom's Camry, which has about 3/8 of a tank and gets better mileage.  Hopefully more stations will open this weekend or I'll be waiting in one of those lines myself.  Besides the gas lines, the scenery consists of downed trees, work crews cutting and removing downed trees, and intersections with no traffic lights.  Not out-of-service traffic lights, no traffic lights period.  You would think they would send crews out to take down the lights before the storm as they obviously don't hold up too well to hurricane force winds.  And they're saying on the news that the local governments don't have nearly enough replacement lights.  I'm sure you can imagine how dangerous it is going through a 4-way intersection, especially when many people can't seem to grasp the concept that they are now the same as 4-way stop signs.

I've taken some pictures and posted them in the 'Wilma' photo album along the left side of this site.  I wish I could do a better job of capturing what it looks like down here, but I've had to work each day this week, can't afford to drive all over the area due to the gas shortages, and there are those pesky curfews to deal with.  But I'll continue to upload new photos as I take them. 

The chaos after the storm

It sure takes awhile for life to get back to normal after a major hurricane.  I'm not complaining mind you, I'm thrilled to death my electricity has been restored.  I'm still under a 'boil water' order and without cable television, but those are minor inconveniences, believe me.  I'd live without cable and drinkable tap water for the rest of my life as long as I was able to take hot showers, like I did this morning.  And let me tell you, a hot shower is one of the finest pleasures there is.  Of all the people I speak to who are still without power, the most popular request is a hot shower or bath.  It's amazing the things we take for granted -- what a luxury.  I'm the only one in the family with power and feel awfully guilty about it; I'm 37, single, without kids, the one who would suffer the least without electricity, but I'm the one to get it back first.  I wish I had a bigger place so I could take some family in, but I only have one bed.  So I'll do what I can to help anyone out.  Mom and Dad are coming over for dinner tonight and my cousin Nancy has already inquired about doing her laundry at my place.

Meanwhile, things at my office are running smoother than I could have expected.  The power is on in half of my floor (not my side, of course), and I am working thanks to a very long extension cord powering my computer, monitor and small desk lamp.  It's not too bright in here which isn't conducive for work but makes for great atmosphere.  I just need some incense and a Billie Holiday CD...  The noisy generator is still powering most of the 1st floor, where the rest of those whose 2nd floor offices are without power have set up camp in a training room.  I just hope we aren't all overcome by carbon monoxide poisoning...

Outside is a mix of business as usual and the bizarro world.  Here in Miami Lakes where I work, every store and business is open, but there is a line for gasoline that stretches for miles.  One of my co-workers waited for 3 hours today before she was finally able to fuel up.  There are downed trees everywhere and cleanup crews on every other street.  A fuckload of birds and squirrels are looking for new homes.  I imagine they're gonna have to live on top of one another just like us humans do now due to overcrowding.  Only their plight is a result of there being half as many trees in south Florida as there were prior to Hurricane Wilma.

My family is safe and sound, albeit uncomfortable, inconvenienced and bored, but I have many friends I have not been able to get a hold of and am worried about.  Hopefully I will be able to speak with them in the coming days.

For your (my) amusement

Sig heil, you facist cunt...