The Church of Lost Souls

Happy Halloween!

Sheer hilarity

It's things like this that keep me going.  Oh, the fucking irony...  According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, the definition of 'baptism' is:

"a Christian sacrament marked by ritual use of water and admitting the recipient to the Christian community"

Oh yeah, he's been admitted to a community alright. I guess I'm back to my sick, twisted self again.  Reverend Creepy is back brothers and sisters!  Can I get a "hallelujah motherfucker?"

We're getting there

Yesterday was indeed the best and closest to normal day I've had since Hurricane Wilma hit.  Spent the day at cousin Bruce's watching football games via satellite, drinking beer and barbequing.  Just like we used to do before the storm.  Life has drastically improved for those around me as Mom & Dad, Aunt Carol and Uncle Alan (Bruce's folks), and best friend Rick's parents all had their electricity restored last night, my sister Cindy and nephews Ross & Dru this morning.  I can't tell you what a relief it is that all of our parents are with power again, especially since they're all 60 and older, which makes living in those conditions exponentially more difficult.  Now if my damn cable would just come on... 

Finally, a day of normalcy

Today will be the most normal day since Hurricane Wilma thanks to the good old NFL.  Cousin Bruce got his electricity back Friday and his satellite dish is working so I will enjoy my usual Sunday routine, watching the football games on his couch while enjoying some suds.  Finally, some semblance of normalcy. 

I have some christian broadcast on the TV in the background as I wait for the NFL pregame show to begin on Fox and just heard some bimbo talking about "teaching you how to be obedient to god."  What, are you supposed to be his/her fucking lapdog?  He sure does require you to jump through quite a few hoops for salvation.  I can tell you, if I was god it would be a hell of a lot easier to appease me, not to mention an awful lot more fun.

What is it with TV weather girls?  Is it a prerequisite that you be hot or have great cans?  I was watching channel 10 this morning and the weather gal was a redhead named Jayce Birch. 

 

Hoo-fah...  What a pair of jugs on her; they were hypnotizing.  I didn't see any of the maps or radars she was showing because I couldn't take my eyes off her tits.  It looked like she was smuggling a pair of cantaloupes in her shirt.  Gotta love all the hurricane coverage on TV...

For any friends of fellow blogger Judi (Confessions of a Closet Masochist), I finally saw her this morning.  She called me and placed a delivery order for some grocery items since she has very little fuel in her car.  So I went to Publix, then brought her the requested items: a loaf of whole wheat bread, a jar of peanut butter (creamy, in case you were curious), a jar of strawberry jelly and a box of Pop Tarts (the smores variety).  Life is pretty simple without electricity, huh?  But she's in good spirits, got laid this weekend, and rationing her pot to make it last so she's hanging in there.

Well, I'm off to enjoy a football and cold beer.  Keep in touch with yourselves... 

I've got gas!

Not the kind you get from eating Mexican food, the kind you put in your car.  After buying an antenna for my TV so I can get more than 1 channel, Mom and I decided to try to get some fuel since we were both at or below a quarter of a tank.  We went to a nearby Exxon/Mobil and discovered the line of cars wasn't too long so we agreed to wait (Mom's is the red car at the far right of the picture):

   

The University of Miami football game was on the radio so I had something to pass the time.  But surprisingly, it only took us 15 minutes to get to a pump.  Our good luck continued when we found not only were they taking credit cards, but there was no limit so we were able to fill our tanks.  This was the view from my pump:

 

Both of our cars are now fueled up so we are set for the next week or so.  In other good news, Mom & Dad found battery-operated TVs with 5 inch screens.  This should lift Dad's spirits; he can watch college football today and pro football tomorrow (as long as it's not on cable).  Of course, they bought 2, so they can each watch their own programs, like they normally do.  And Mom is ecstatic that she can watch 'Desperate Housewives' tomorrow night, which she's been worried about all week.  Me?  I'm happy that their life is slowly improving.

Alcohol soaked thoughts

Brothers and sisters, reverend Creepy is drunk.  I've done quite a few shots of Jack between many beers so please excuse any stupidity or political incorrectness (at least any more than usual).  In addition, please excuse the inaneness of this post -- I'm a single guy, living alone, and trashed; talking to my cats just doesn't cut it sometimes...

I quit playing Madden 2006 on Xbox after losing to the Patriots in the playoffs and am now listening to Marilyn Manson's "Mechanical Animals" at a volume that is probably pissing my neighbors off, but fuck them -- at least the guy upstairs who is always playing his guitar (poorly I might add) when I am in most need of quiet time.  Funny thing about Mr. Manson: his image is what made and keeps him famous, but it keeps him from being taken seriously.  If you can get past that and actually listen to what he has to say you might be impressed.  He's a very, bright guy, as up on history, philosophy, religion and politics as anyone.  In 'Bowling For Columbine' Michael Moore asked him what he would have said to the shooters, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.  His response?  "I wouldn't have said anything, I would have listened to them.  That's what happened; nobody listened to them."  In his tune "Fight Song" he says "Isolation is the oxygen mask we give our children to survive."  Sure, he wears lipstick, crossdresses, and goes out of his way to spit in the face of convention, but don't we embrace people who think 'out of the box' these days? 

Why the fuck is Paris Hilton getting acting jobs in major movies?  My friend Wayne (see his link under my 'Friends') has worked his ass off in various acting schools, is a great looking guy and a fine actor but he hasn't been handed a role in a big movie like 'House of Wax' because of who he is or who he knows.  He's busting his ass in L.A. waiting for his shot while untalented, privileged children like that emaciated skank with colored contact lenses (her natural eye color is brown; look it up on the web) take roles from people who actually deserve them.  And people wonder why I'm disgruntled.  "The rich get fat and the poor just stay that way..."

I am a hand grenade that never stopped exploding...

Creep

A few thoughts

When my folks showed up for dinner tonight, Mom walked in with a bottle of toilet cleaner.  I asked her what it was for and she replied "I'm cleaning your toilet."  I have 1 and 1/2 bathrooms, and the toilet she was referring to was in the 1/2 bathroom (the 'guest' bathroom).  I rarely use that toilet; it didn't look like something you'd find in a frat house, it just had a ring at the water line because of the funky water in my building (it turns my shower pink in days, and I don't even give it to my cats -- they get bottled water).  I reminded Mom that she's 69, I wasn't gonna let her clean my toilet.  I would do it when they left.  After an uneventful meal, Dad goes into the same bathroom to take a leak before they leave.  When he emerged, he announced "you've gotta clean that toilet."  I guess some parents just can't stop parenting...

Friend Bruce (who lives in Coconut Grove) and cousin Bruce (who lives in Hollywood) both called tonight to let me know they have power.  Hopefully Mom & Dad get theirs tomorrow -- I'm beginning to worry about Dad.  Then again, if they get electricity but no cable he won't be satisfied because he still can't watch sports.  When they came over for dinner last night he mentioned that he wanted to watch the Virginia Tech-Boston College game.  I told him my cable was still out and only got ABC.  He grumbled, then asked why I don't have cable.  I had to explain to him that I indeed subscribe to cable TV, but my cable was out due to the storm.  He just grumbled some more.

As I was walking up to a Walgreens today to pick up a prescription I noticed a guy sitting up against the wall of the building.  As I got closer, he said to me "only Jesus."  Not sure I understood him, I said "excuse me?"  Once again, he said "only Jesus."  Normally I could finish that sentence a hundred different blasphemous ways, but due to the situation down here I didn't have it in me, so I just replied "no comment dude."  I just didn't have it in me.  Although yesterday I went out to lunch with co-worker Shrek (aka Chris, the Jehovah's Witness), his wife Kathy, their 1 1/2 year-old son Sean, and the other Chris who works with us.  While we were waiting for our meal, Shrek and Kathy were telling us how Sean replies to any question you ask him with "yes."  "Sean, do you want some chicken?"  "Yes."  "Sean, do you love Mommy?"  "Yes."  "Sean, do you want to play with your Legos?"  "Yes."  Then I said "Sean, do you worship Satan?  Yes."  Kathy didn't see the humor in that, saying something along the lines of "oh my gosh, don't say that."  She was obviously upset.  But I thought it was funny...

I've got some news show on in the background and they're doing a feature on Geena Davis, who's playing a female president in some TV show.  The reporter just said that in a recent poll, forty-something percent of those polled said they would not vote for a female presidential candidate.  What fucking year is this???  Nearly half of those asked would not vote for a female, regardless of how qualified she was?  That's unconscionable.  So much for any faith I gained in the human race in the aftermath of the storm...

The chaos continues

The latest update I heard on the news a few minutes ago: electricity has been restored to roughly 50% of Miami-Dade County, approximately 26% of Broward County (where my family and I live) -- each county has about a million residents.  We are being told it could take until November 22nd for everyone to be with power again.  Of course, I'm among the 26% in Broward fortunate enough to have that luxury; but none of the rest of my family does and it pains me.  I'm trying to be as gracious as possible but I live in a 1 bedroom apartment.  Last night I brought home Chinese food (most of Miami Lakes, where I work, has electricity) and had Mom and Dad over for dinner.  Afterwards, Dad shaved (he only uses electric razors) and took his first hot shower since the storm hit early Monday morning.  He said he felt like a "new man."  Today my Mom and cousin Nancy spent some time here doing laundry and enjoying the air conditioning.  Nancy asked if she could bring her 1 1/2 year-old daughter, my cousin Sarah, by for a warm bath tonight, to which I replied "absolutely."  I know what the residents of South Florida are going through pales in comparison to what those in Louisiana and Mississippi went through (and are still going through), but it certainly qualifies as hardship.  And it's hard not to feel guilty when your electricity came back on after only 60 hours.  That may seem like a long time, but tell that to everyone else down here.  So I'm trying to do my best to offer a hot meal, hot shower, or time in air conditioning to anyone I can.

I arrived at work this morning to learn our generator had failed overnight and there was no work to be done.  My fellow employees and I spent most of the day commiserating as a few people ran around frantically trying to get servers up and running.  One of the guys brought down bottles of Ouzo, Metaxa and Kahlua from his office and we all had a few drinks to pass the time.  That Metaxa, a Greek liquor, is strong stuff -- I highly recommend it.  Around 2:00 my supervisor Iris told me to go home as there was no sense just sitting there.  On my way home, I stopped at the Publix in Miami Lakes to attempt to do my weekly grocery shopping.  It was slim pickings but I did the best I could.  There were very few perishables, however the deli counter was open so I bought a pound of turkey, a pound of ham, and a half pound of American cheese, to go along with a couple of frozen pizzas, a loaf of bread, cans of soup, pretzels, potato chips, soda, iced tea, half a watermelon, and of course beer.  I was blown away to find ice cream in the freezer section so I bought a gallon of chocolate chip for Mom.  I know she'll love being able to enjoy cold ice cream, something she eats daily (or at least she did before Wilma).  That will be dessert after we eat sandwiches for dinner.  The store was a chaotic scene, with many hungry people and many empty shelves, but surprisingly, every Publix employee I dealt with was beyond gracious: the woman at the deli counter, the stock guy who offered to go into the back and search for a loaf a rye bread for me despite being in the middle of stocking shelves, and the lady bagging my groceries who was so pleasant and smiling as if she had just won the lottery.  You wouldn't think these people would be in such good spirits after hours of dealing with a testy, stressed out mob of customers constantly complaining about the store lacking particular items and waiting in long lines.  Maybe they're just happy to be back at work as it brings some semblance of normalcy to their lives, which have been turned upside down this past week. 

Another pleasant surprise in the aftermath of the storm is the decency many people are showing towards their neighbors.  Almost everyone I speak to has a story about people living next door who have generators allowing them to run an extension cord to power their refrigerator, use their bathrooms for a hot shower, or watch some television for distraction.  Or people with gas grills feeding them, allowing them to heat their canned foods, or boil water to prepare formula for their babies.  Every now and then the human race can throw even a staunch cynic like myself a curve and show a hint of compassion...

The hottest (and hardest to find) commodity remains gasoline.  There are enormous lines outside the few gas stations that have electricity or generators, with the wait at least several hours.  On top of that, they are only taking cash and limiting purchases to $30.  I'm under an eighth of a tank in my car so I'm driving Mom's Camry, which has about 3/8 of a tank and gets better mileage.  Hopefully more stations will open this weekend or I'll be waiting in one of those lines myself.  Besides the gas lines, the scenery consists of downed trees, work crews cutting and removing downed trees, and intersections with no traffic lights.  Not out-of-service traffic lights, no traffic lights period.  You would think they would send crews out to take down the lights before the storm as they obviously don't hold up too well to hurricane force winds.  And they're saying on the news that the local governments don't have nearly enough replacement lights.  I'm sure you can imagine how dangerous it is going through a 4-way intersection, especially when many people can't seem to grasp the concept that they are now the same as 4-way stop signs.

I've taken some pictures and posted them in the 'Wilma' photo album along the left side of this site.  I wish I could do a better job of capturing what it looks like down here, but I've had to work each day this week, can't afford to drive all over the area due to the gas shortages, and there are those pesky curfews to deal with.  But I'll continue to upload new photos as I take them. 

The chaos after the storm

It sure takes awhile for life to get back to normal after a major hurricane.  I'm not complaining mind you, I'm thrilled to death my electricity has been restored.  I'm still under a 'boil water' order and without cable television, but those are minor inconveniences, believe me.  I'd live without cable and drinkable tap water for the rest of my life as long as I was able to take hot showers, like I did this morning.  And let me tell you, a hot shower is one of the finest pleasures there is.  Of all the people I speak to who are still without power, the most popular request is a hot shower or bath.  It's amazing the things we take for granted -- what a luxury.  I'm the only one in the family with power and feel awfully guilty about it; I'm 37, single, without kids, the one who would suffer the least without electricity, but I'm the one to get it back first.  I wish I had a bigger place so I could take some family in, but I only have one bed.  So I'll do what I can to help anyone out.  Mom and Dad are coming over for dinner tonight and my cousin Nancy has already inquired about doing her laundry at my place.

Meanwhile, things at my office are running smoother than I could have expected.  The power is on in half of my floor (not my side, of course), and I am working thanks to a very long extension cord powering my computer, monitor and small desk lamp.  It's not too bright in here which isn't conducive for work but makes for great atmosphere.  I just need some incense and a Billie Holiday CD...  The noisy generator is still powering most of the 1st floor, where the rest of those whose 2nd floor offices are without power have set up camp in a training room.  I just hope we aren't all overcome by carbon monoxide poisoning...

Outside is a mix of business as usual and the bizarro world.  Here in Miami Lakes where I work, every store and business is open, but there is a line for gasoline that stretches for miles.  One of my co-workers waited for 3 hours today before she was finally able to fuel up.  There are downed trees everywhere and cleanup crews on every other street.  A fuckload of birds and squirrels are looking for new homes.  I imagine they're gonna have to live on top of one another just like us humans do now due to overcrowding.  Only their plight is a result of there being half as many trees in south Florida as there were prior to Hurricane Wilma.

My family is safe and sound, albeit uncomfortable, inconvenienced and bored, but I have many friends I have not been able to get a hold of and am worried about.  Hopefully I will be able to speak with them in the coming days.

For your (my) amusement

Sig heil, you facist cunt...

Wilma post mortem

So my power is back on, less than 60 hours after it went out.  My phone and water are working, although we are still under a 'boil water' order so I have to brush my teeth with bottled water, which I have plenty of, and like I did when we went to Cancun for cousin Bruce's bachelor weekend in June.  The cable is still out, but big fucking deal.  To say I am ecstatic is an understatement, especially after hearing today it would be at least 3 weeks before the electricity would be restored to all of south Florida.  How did I celebrate?  Like the humanist I am: with a cold beer from my cooler and a shot of Jack Daniel's.  However, I do feel guilty.  Why me?  I'm a blasphemous heretic who doesn't have a pregnant wife, elderly parents or bored-to-death kids running around.  Maybe there is something to this 'karma' stuff.  I did immediately call my folks to pass on the good news and invite them over since their power is still out.  Due to the lovely weather and lack of a spare bed in my apartment they declined, but they have keys so I told them they were welcome to spend the day here tomorrow.  And now, it's Jack and Miller time.

While I drink away the stress of the past few days, here are a few thoughts on the hurricane:

I have a few suggestions for everyone's hurricane supply kit.  First of all, an old fashioned non-cordless telephone.  I can't tell you how many people I've spoken to that only have cordless phones in their homes, which of course need electricity, leaving them shit out of luck.  That's a no-brainer.  Secondly, some Purell or other hand cleanser for when your water goes out or you are under a 'boil water' order.  It was a life saver.  Finally, have you ever tried to read by candlelight?  It's not so easy.  I had bought one of those flashlights you strap to your head for night fishing, which came in handy when I wanted to read to pass the time.  I paid 8 or 10 bucks for mine at Outdoor World, and it operates on 2 AA batteries.  Trust me on this one.  Besides reading, it makes getting around the house and doing shit in the dark a hundred times easier than your standard flashlight.

I was listening to the radio last night and a reporter was interviewing a family whose electricity had just come back on.  The reporter expected the couple to be thrilled at having power, but all they did was bitch and moan about not having water or food.  Later I heard them interviewing people who were waiting on line for water.  These folks had a right to complain about waiting for hours for water that was not delivered by FEMA.  But this was all the day after the hurricane hit -- how could these people be out of food and/or water less than 48 hours after the storm?  You know how?  They are fucking stupid and didn't bother to prepare ahead of time.  We had a week's notice that Wilma was going to hit south Florida, yet these morons didn't bother to stock up on water or canned goods.  Is FEMA responsible for stupidity?  We are constantly told in the event of a hurricane to have enough supplies to last for at least 3 days, including a gallon of water per person, per day.  Look, I'm no rocket scientist, but I bought 6 gallons of water, a dozen cans of Chef Boyardee and chili, two loaves of bread, 3 jars of peanut butter, two boxes of granola bars, 2 boxes of graham crackers, a bag of oranges and a bunch of bananas.  Sure, FEMA was delayed in getting here with ice and water, but the day after the storm hit NO ONE should have been without food and water.  I guess there is something to that 'survival of the fittest' concept...

Well, I'm off to drink myself into a stupor.  I hope everyone has their electricity back far sooner than the estimates, and that you were all smart enough to stock up on food and water.  If anyone reading this could use some electricity or a warm meal, feel free to call me.  I hope you're not allergic to cats...

Wilma part 3

Wednesday morning I woke up around 8:30 to a symphony of birds chirping outside my open window; apparently in my dazed state I didn't realize that my wind-up alarm clock didn't have a snooze button so I overslept an hour.  My phone was finally working so I called the emergency extension for my office.  The message was changed, instructing us to come in to work Wednesday, so I got up and took the coldest fucking shower of my life.  I think my balls are still shriveled up into my abdomen.  I arrived at the office to find even fewer people than the day before, and still no power.  It had been 24 hours since the hurricane and without electricity, and I was still miserable from the ice cold shower so I was in a foul mood.  I joked with some co-workers that I was grasping onto the frayed ends of my sanity, but deep inside I wasn't kidding.  Wilma had taken her toll on me and I was losing my grip.  Fortunately, there was a pot of fresh coffee in the 1st floor kitchen; my nervous breakdown was narrowly avoided.  There was still only power on the 1st floor so I couldn't work.  When someone got up from their computer I quickly jumped on it to write a post to let everyone know me and my family had made it through the storm. 

An hour or so later power was finally restored to the rest of the building so I was able to get on my computer and get some work done.  The client of ours I am a project manager for is in Coral Springs and not back in business yet so I quickly finished what work I could.  With nothing left to do, I wrote a second post and uploaded some pictures I took the past few days (see the 'Wilma' photo album).  I went out at lunchtime to find Miami Lakes operating business as usual.  I went to the bank, CVS, Publix and a liquor store.  I picked up a six pack of beer and a bottle of Jack Daniel's but was unable to find any ice.  I got back to the office and was on the computer for awhile when all of a sudden there was a loud "boom," and the power went out in my office.  FPL had restored the power to our building, but the crew cutting down the fallen trees on our property knocked the power out again when a tree limb they cut fell on a power line.  So it was back down to the generator-powered 1st floor to stand around for a couple more hours.  When my supervisor finally told me to leave, co-worker Shrek (aka Chris, the Jehovah's Witness, the victim of many of my practical jokes) asked me to give him a ride back to Shula's hotel, where he and other "essential" employees had been put up by the company.  On the way there, Chris told me the ice machines in the hotel were working and we could fill the cooler in my trunk.  Ice and gasoline are the two hottest and hardest to find commodities post-Wilma, so I was thrilled: I could ice down my warm beer and drink Jack on the rocks.  We got some sketchy looks from hotel employees, but he was a guest so there wasn't much they could do.  My 6 pack of Miller Light resting comfortably in a cooler full of ice, I thanked him immensely and went on my way.  I will never pull another prank on him again; at least for a week or so. 

While driving home I called Mom and she informed me the neighbors were grilling in the street once again so I should come by for a hot meal.  As we did Tuesday night, about 15 of us tailgated in the middle of the street.  We ate barbequed burgers, hot dogs, strip steaks, chicken and fish, washed down with cold beer and plenty more wine.  Despite the fact that everyone had been without electricity for more than 24 hours and few people had working telephones, everyone was in good spirits.  I was still hiding my anxiety and depression, but everyone else was demonstrating remarkable resilience.  Before I left to beat the curfew, I filled Mom's small cooler with ice from mine (Mom thanks you immensely Chris!) and took both her and Dad's cell phones and chargers to charge at work Thursday.  On the way home, I was imagining how cool it would be to find the power back on at my place -- and that's exactly what I found.

Driving down Washington Street towards my complex I noticed lights on in one of the buildings.  I thought it must be my imagination, but when I saw the lights on in the guard house I was filled with hope.  I turned right, heading towards my building and noticed lights on in people's apartments.  Had I finally lost my mind?  Had the stress caused me to hallucinate, like someone stranded in the desert seeing an oasis that didn't exist?  I parked my car, grabbed my shit as quick as possible and ran to the front door.  The lights were on in the lobby and as I stuck my key in the door the elevator opened and a group of kids walked out.  Fuck me.  Could life be throwing this godless heathen a bone?  I took the elevator to my floor, ran down the hall and opened the door to my apartment.  I had turned off all the circuit breakers before I left this morning after hearing on the news that the power coming back on could blow out appliances.  I threw my shit down and fumbled with the switches on the circuit breakers.  Let there be light...  The electricity was back.  I'm man enough to admit that I fell to my knees and cried like a baby, completely overwhelmed by my good fortune after more than 48 hours of disorder. 

Wilma part 2

Monday evening I sat in my apartment without power, water or telephone.  The cold front that followed Wilma brought delightful weather to south Florida so at least it was cool inside my unairconditioned home.  Candles illuminated my room as I listened to the news on a battery powered radio.  I was awfully depressed and bored, but relief came in the form of Monday Night Football on the radio.  I enjoyed the distraction of the Falcons-Jets game while drinking lukewarm beers.  The stress of the day had taken its toll on me as after only 6 beers I was done.  I fell asleep with the radio on.

I awoke at 7:30 Tuesday morning thanks to the wind-up alarm clock I keep in my hurricane supply kit.  With still no phone or water I headed over to Mom & Dad's place.  Their phone was working so I called the emergency extension for my office, which was still playing Sunday's message informing us to show up for work Tuesday.  I took a cold shower, dressed and drove to the office.  I arrived to find we were without electricity, only the 1st floor was powered by the generator.  One of the managers was in a panic as no one thought ahead of time that it might be a good idea to have some extra diesel to run the generator for more than a day or so.  Everyone who had showed up for work was sent on a mission to find an open gas station that was selling diesel fuel.  I joined my co-worker Aeron for a trip down to meet a guy in Hialeah who was going to hook us up with a 55 gallon drum.  Our contact was able to convince the workers of a fuel depot to fill our drum, so Aeron and I triumphantly drove back to work with the precious diesel.  Having come through in the clutch and not being able to work, I left around 1:00 and headed home for a nap.  I came home to find the water working in my apartment so I was finally able to flush the now hideous stew that had been fermenting in my toilet for nearly 24 hours.  At that point I was happier that the water was on than the electricity.  Life having taken a turn for the better I was able to sleep peacefully for about 2 hours.

I went back to Mom & Dad's and sat down to eat a chef salad Mom had prepared with the last of her perishables.  While we were eating, my aunt Carol, who lives a few doors down, came by and invited us to a neighborhood cookout in the middle of the street.  About 15 of us ate burgers, hot dogs, steak and chicken breasts cooked on a barbeque while sitting on lawn chairs, as if we were tailgating for a football game that would never be played.  Dusk was filled with the sound of chainsaws and generators, the air filled with the smell of barbeques and freshly cut trees.  It's remarkable how strangers can come together in times of chaos.  Everyone was in great spirits as we had a warm meal washed down with plenty of wine.  At 6:45 I left to make it home before the 7:00 curfew.  I walked into a dark, lonely apartment.  My beer was now room temperature, so I sat in bed writing notes for my blog by candlelight.  Despite all the windows in my apartment being open, it was surprisingly quiet.  The only sounds to be heard were the generator of the hospital down the street and the occasional dog barking.  I spent the rest of the evening listening to the World Series, finally falling asleep around midnight.   

Wilma part 1

I was awoken Monday morning around 6:00 by the sound of the electricity going on and off in my apartment.  By 6:20 it was gone for good.  I sat on the loveseat in my living room looking out the sliding glass doors, watching the trees bend at the most unnatural of angles.  The phone was still working so I called my folks to check on them.  Actually, that's probably not why I really called -- I most likely called to hear Mom's voice for reassurance.  When things really picked up and the shit had apparently hit the fan, I left the living room for the relative safety of my bedroom and it's single small window.  One of my cats had hidden and wouldn't come out until hours after the storm; the other cat followed me from room to room, never straying far from my side, like a young child needing to be close to me to feel secure.  I contemplated barricading myself in my walk-in closet or bathroom but rode out the storm on my bed.  When it was over, I was without power, water or telephone.  The courtyard outside my apartment was a mess of downed trees, limbs and branches.  The building suffered no structural damage so I ventured outside to check on my car.  Several cars in the parking lot were now resting underneath large trees, but I lucked out.  And I certainly won't have too many problems with bird shit when parking at home as only a few trees were still standing following mother nature's body blow.

Despite my family and I making it through the storm safe and sound with no real damage, good ol' mother nature did play a cruel trick on me, perhaps as payback for all the practical joking I enjoy at the expense of others.  Around 5:00 p.m. Monday I sat on my bathroom throne to get grumpy.  After I had completed my transaction, I reached back for the handle, but to my horror, there was no flush.  Not only was the water still off, there was no pressure, so the water left in the tank was unable to expel the logs floating in the bowl.  Fuck me.  I began to panic, then grabbed a paper plate from the kitchen and tried to remove the offending logs.  Obviously, I puked, which only muddied the water, making my task all the more difficult.  I was only able to grab one log and discard it into a trash bag before I had to quit, leaving me with a toxic brew in the bowl.  Not sure what to do, I poured some bleach in the bowl, put the lid down, and lit incense.  The putrid stew would remain there for 24 hours, until the water was finally restored to my apartment.  The first day post-Wilma was going swimmingly.

I'm back

Greetings all.  I made it through the storm safe and sound, although not so mentally.  My power is still out at home but fortunately my water came back on yesterday afternoon and my telephone last night.  My apartment suffered no damage, and my parents' and sister's places made it though as well, and no one was injured.  I have plenty of canned food, bottled water, candles and batteries, so I'm prepared to rough it for a while.  I'm at work right now, where we have a generator powering the 1st floor, but I work on the 2nd floor and was just sitting around observing the chaos so I decided to jump on an open computer and write a quick post.

My psyche did not make it through the storm unscathed.  That was probably as scared as I've ever been in my life, except for maybe during severe turbulence on an airplane.  I don't care to go through that ever again, and as soon as my folks pass on I'm fucking out of this god-forsaken state.  Speaking of god, between the catastrophic hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis and mudslides that have taken hundreds of thousands of lives over the past 6 weeks or so, if someone mentions god to me I'm gonna blacken both of their fuckin' eyes.  To quote Token in the 'Lord of the Rings' episode of 'South Park': "I don't know what I saw, I don't want to know what I saw, I'm done."  If you're stupid enough to believe in an absentee landlord who created such a hazardous place for his/her children to live in, then you deserve to be beaten senseless.  I may have been a godless heathen before, but now I'm a venomous, godless heathen...  But I digress.

Since the storm passed, I've been overwhelmed by depression.  Not sure why, but I'm not in a great place right now.  Maybe I'm still in shock.  Maybe it's the cold fucking showers I've had to take.  Who knows.

I'll try to post again before the end of the day with more details.  Hope everyone else made it through safe and sound.