Speaking of...

Got a call from the receptionist today telling me I had a package.  My Egg arrived:

 

It made me happy enough to forget about the shit storm that followed my post about purchasing it.  "Opinions are like assholes: everyone's got one and they all stink," especially when it comes to art.  I could care less whether or not anyone else would spend money on a 'paper smashe' clown fish -- I'm fuckin' stoked, and thrilled to have the little fella swimming across my living room wall right above my big screen:

 

And it was perfect timing -- a very cool Valentine's Day gift to myself.  Speaking of V-Day, other than a florist's delivery truck in the parking lot at work I barely even noticed.  Didn't see flowers on anyone's desk or any couples acting lovey dovey.  I think the only reason I even knew it was Valentine's was because Mom called and wished me a "happy" one.  I never even reflected on last year's, the first one I spent with someone I loved since 1990, until now.  I guess that's why I had the urge to get drunk tonight...

Speaking of Mom, I think after 37 years she's getting tired of giving me advice.  Last night I told her the plums I bought a week and a half ago were still as hard as rocks.  When I asked whether that was because I was keeping them in the fridge she replied "take them back."  Thanks Mom, I think I'll give that a try...

Speaking of plums, this afternoon I go into the bathroom on my floor and find someone's funky diarrhea sitting in one of the toilets, just ripening by the minute.  Okay, I've got a hard enough time going in there and taking a leak each day thanks to the 17 men I share it with laying waste (no pun intended) to the air quality.  Anytime I go in there past lunchtime I stand at the urinal with my undershirt pulled over my nose.  But this was too much.  I find it impossible for anyone to have forgotten to flush -- I mean, if you shit pure liquid you'd be so grossed out you'd immediately be grabbing for the handle to get rid of the offending matter.  So I'm assuming they discovered the handle didn't work after it was too late.  And just left it there to ferment.  Unfuckingacceptable.  I don't care if it is the toilet at work and you didn't break it, grab a paper plate or something and start sifting.  Make like a 49er and pan for brown gold.  Anything.  Leaving it there for the rest of the day should be grounds for having their head dunked in it.  Multiple times...  Fucking savages.   

And speaking of turds, when I walked in to my apartment tonight I was greeted by another awful funk.  I don't know what they put in cat food, but it can't possibly be enough to make their shit smell that bad.  I've lived with other guys who couldn't stink up a bathroom like that, and my girls both weigh less than 10 pounds.  How can such abominable stench be produced by one of these dainty things:

 

Comments

[Rick]

I also live in sewage...can't wait 'till it ends!!!!!!!

[PinkLady]

Loving the clown fish. And ITA with Judi...some smaller pieces around that would look really cool.

[Rhi]

I will admit I know nothing about art, but I do know what I like and that fish fuckin rocks......I think I *need* one of those. :o) And I have to agree, your fishie looks lonely, he might needs some small friends.

[Creepy]

Yeah, this morning I was thinking about getting a smaller fish or two to complete the aquarium. Clown does look sort of lonely...

[Stephanie]

Okay--Clown Fish is freakin' adorable! Def. needs some buddies though. BTW--what I said about *I wouldn't pay that much for it? You have to realize that I'm also the same person who thinks that anything over $5 is 'too expensive'.

The Girls are also adorable! No way do those sweet little babies stink you out.

[Creepy]

Oh yes those girls do stink me out (at least one of them does), like you wouldn't believe. Gonna have to look into a different, less noxious food...