Space (and not the place astronauts go)

I really like 'A', aka the girlfriend. I'm not in love with her, which she has proclaimed to me, but I could see it happening in the future.  And I'm getting used to the idea of having a girlfriend -- I can actually say the word now.  However, I'm having trouble adjusting to having less 'me' time.

My spare time typically is broken down into three categories: 'me' time, 'family' time and 'friends' time.  I am a huge fan of 'me' time.  I'm a loner; perfectly comfortable being alone, and actually prefer my own company at times to that of others.  My Dad was never around much when I was growing up, and my sisters were 5 and 7 years older than me, so if I didn't have friends over my time at home was essentially spent solo.  By the time I entered high school Dad and both of my sisters were out of the house for good, and Mom worked and had her own social life, so I was often at home alone.  (I'm explaining, not complaining.)

Now 'girlfriend' time has been added to the mix, taking much of what was once 'me' time.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy spending time with her, but I also enjoy, um, not spending time with her.  For example.  We went out to dinner together with her sister on Sunday.  Monday night I cooked dinner for us at my place, then we hung out.  Some time during the evening she asked when she was gonna see me again.  "Tuesday or Wednesday," I suggested.  "How about Tuesday AND Wednesday," she countered.  Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday?  That seemed more than a bit excessive to me, a guy who hadn't had a girlfriend in 3 years.

Shit, I can't fathom what living with someone would be like.  (Obviously, I've never shared a dwelling with someone I was romantically involved with.)  Talk about a shock to the system, that might give me a nervous breakdown.  I think I'd be more interested in living next door to them.  That sounds about right.

Comments

[Stephanie]

From Experience: If you really do see this as possibly being long term, be completely honest. Let her know that you are used to having 'me' time and you need a little of it. Heck, it could be very beneficial to her by it giving you time to sort out what you are feeling/could feel soon. Typically, going out when you don't want to go out shows in actions, expressions and even what you say. My way of thinking is that one disagreement is better than several. By being honest, that is one day that you two might be a little upset. By going out when you don't want to and it (eventually) becoming apparent that you aren't really where you want to be, that will be a lot of little disagreements that will ruin several days.
Does that make sense to anyone other than me???

[Judi]

Perfect sense, Steph. Better to get your feelings out in the open now than to continue to squelch them--that does nobody any good in the long run.

[Freshlyevil]

Ditto the wise women who've posted before me. As for living with someone, you have to learn to carve out your alone time in creative ways. In some ways, it's easier because you spend lots of little time together you can take bigger chunks to yourself.

[Lulu]

You might want to stop comparing this relationship to the last relationship. If the last relationship was that perfect, you'd still be in it.

[E@L]

Women, huh! Can't live with them... pass the beer nuts.