What am I doing here?

Walked outside just now, after recovering from a near heat stroke this afternoon, only to be overwhelmed by heat and humidity.  Not an ounce of breeze, just hot and sticky.  Here's what weather.com has to say about 10 p.m. or so:

 

Have you ever been in a steam room?  If so, is there anything remotely pleasant about it?  Shit, if they want to torture people screw water-boarding, shove them in steam rooms.

Anyway...  I have no job, no prospects, no love interest, my friends treat me as if I were a leper, and I hate this fucking place.  The only thing that's kept me here this long is my folks, but even that is losing it's allure.

Cousin Bruce came up with a brilliant suggestion today (what have you been waiting so long for, you prick -- just kidding, you're one of the few people NOT on my shit list): take a job working for a tropical resort in the Caribbean.  Why not?  My lease is up at the end of the month and if I don't find a job by then the plan is to shove my shit into storage and move in with my folks (*shudder*), rather than continue to burn through my savings.

I can see taking a gig spending the day on the beach someplace, say the Cayman Islands, for example, renting wave runners to tourists.  Waiting for the job market to improve in South Florida.  Wearing a big-ass hat and sunglasses, enjoying the island lifestyle, fooling around with drunken vacationers, consuming tropical beverages in the sea breeze, not having a care in the world.

I may only make enough money to cover my expenses but the experience of clearing my head for a few months can't be a bad thing.  And Mary the doxie might like a change of scenery; who knows, maybe she's a beach doggy at heart.  I can get her a doxie lifeguard vest.

I've just got to find a temporary home for my cat, Josie, and snake, Alistair.  Don't bother volunteering for the cat, Larry.  Sick fuck.  Or offer to feed my snake to one of your cobras. 

Comments

[Larry "The Snake Guy"]

At the moment, I don't have anything that eats snakes and I wouldn't poison one of my beloved pets with a dirty, steenking cat... :)

And of course, you know that once the novelty of working at a resort wears off, it will be just like living in South Florida, except you're REQUIRED to be outside most of the day... Somehow I also can't see you taking orders from pasty-white gringos in visor caps all day... :)

[Creepy]

You're a fucking wet blanket. Kill Josie or Alistair and I would personally kill and eat you. With the help of lots of condiments.

Why must you ALWAYS attempt to piss on my parade? You're not exactly improving your chances of surviving day to day by insisting on being my nemisis, Boris.

[Freshlyevil]

I say fuck it all, sell anything that's not attached, gather whatever savings you have left, buy a boat and go for it. Take the tourists fishing and use the intolerable ones as bait.

[Larry The Snake Guy]

Hey, I said I didn't have a use for the cats...

Would you prefer that I wait until AFTER you do something stupid to say something?

Now, the fishing boat captain idea might have some merit if you can find a place where there aren't already too many fishing boats or captains... At least you only have to deal with a few hunmans at a time and they're not in a position to be pissing you off too bad...

[Creepy]

Great point, Larry. Keep on breaking my balls. :0)

[Heff]

"Feels like 96", lol !