And grief.
I miss Dad terribly. And am tortured that Dad went so slowly and horribly. And had to suffer and terrifyingly wait until the end took it's time to come.
Last night I was bummed out and decided to go visit him. This morning I realized it was Saturday, the archaic fuckin' sabbath, and the cemetery was closed. Fuck me in the ass with a Jewish star.
I can't even go visit Dad when I need to (without risking arrest for trespassing and being banned from the property). Fuck me. Fuck them even harder. In the ass. This Jewish cemetery shit is lamer than dark age lame.
I miss you, Pop. I'd trade anything for a few minutes with you. Or for you to have not suffered as you did on your way out. I'd take that suffering ten-fold to have spared you.
I love you Pop. I need you right now Pop.
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