I'm a proud father today -- I think my snake Alistair ate his first meal last night! At first he wanted nothing to do with the baby mouse I placed in his cage; he's not quite comfortable and is awfully sketchy. Instead, he turned away and proceeded to hurriedly escape to safety beneath the pine shavings. But when I looked a few hours later the junior varmint was nowhere to be found. Since this was the first time he ate in his new surroundings I didn't want to stress Alistair by grabbing him to check for a big lump in his belly and cause him to regurgitate a time-consuming meal, so I'll have to wait until tonight for confirmation. (The joys of pet ownership; at least it beats the joys of parenthood.)
I did one of the dumber things I've ever done last night (and believe me, I've done quite a few dumb things in my 37+ years). After shaving my head and the back of my neck earlier in the evening, I applied IcyHot to my neck, which has been sore all week. Talk about a fire in the hole, holy fuck -- I thought I was gonna pass out from the heat. Believe it or not, I think the discomfort was actually worse than the time I used Nair on my balls. Don't make the same mistake folks, be careful with this stuff!
Why do some people insist on speaking as fast as humanly possible when leaving a voice mail message? No, I don't mind having to replay a message 9 times in an effort to write down your phone number, I don't mind it a bit. As the self-appointed 'Commissioner of Common Sense', here's the official ruling on leaving a message: speak slooooooowly and clearly, and if you are spelling a name or leaving a number do it twice. Trust me on this one brothers and sisters. And that concludes today's public service message.
According to some research I found online about gun violence:
"In the US, there are roughly 17,000 murders a year, of which about 15,000 are committed with firearms. By contrast, Britain, Australia and Canada combined see fewer than 350 gun-related murders each year." (Courtesy of Andrew Gumbel and www.commondreams.org)
What is it about Americans that makes it so easy for us to shoot and kill another person? Is it the 'Wild West' in us? A sense of entitlement and superiority over others? Are we just such malevolent human beings? I watched 'Bowling for Columbine' but don't have any answers personally; I'm curious whether anyone has any insightful input.
Every time I see Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas she looks more and more like a muppet. Is it just me:
**click on image to enlarge**
You are such a moron..... you naired your balls.... ha, ha, ha..... Luv it!
Fergie Ferg is not a cute girl, she looks rough. and you got that muppet thing right!
Posted by: Shroom Monkey | October 06, 2006 at 09:16 PM
Why would that make me a moron Shroomy? Who wants to take a sharp blade to their balls?
I always thought Fergie looked strange, but couldn't put my finger on it until today. She's a human fucking muppet. With a body that won't quit.
Posted by: Creepy | October 07, 2006 at 12:19 AM
mmmmmm let's see chemicals on sensitive areas.... not a good idea.... I would never attempt to pornify the ol snatch with nair- chemical burns and possible blisters don't make for a nice lookin pussy.... soo stick to the ol razor- or get brave and brazil it baby.....
Posted by: Shroom Monkey | October 07, 2006 at 03:48 PM
I obviously didn't know Nair was so caustic before I used it. Now I use clippers and have no issues. I'll pass on the Brazilian, thanks.
Posted by: Creepy | October 07, 2006 at 07:02 PM
Brazilian down south...I'm going to need some private time just to come down from that thought. (shudder.) Re: leaving messages, I think the second pronouncement should be to LEAVE YOUR FUCKING NUMBER even if you think I already have it. Yes, I probably have it, but not when I'm listening to messages on my cell in the middle of the city without my address/phone book right by my side. Thanks.
Posted by: CP | October 08, 2006 at 09:05 AM
Excellent point, CP. People assume not only do we give a shit about them so we have their number kept somewhere, but that somewhere is accessible to us at all times. I swear, there ought to be a Common Sense class taught in high schools. No, make that middle schools, before people start dropping out.
Posted by: Creepy | October 08, 2006 at 10:35 AM
I would like to point out that the population of England and Canada combined is smaller than many or our states so as usual data that compares the US to another country would most accuratly be viewed per capita rather than actual numbers.
So to answer the question,
"What is it about Americans that makes it so easy for us to shoot and kill another person?"
Statistics.
Congrats on little snakes first meal at home.
Posted by: Justa | October 08, 2006 at 12:44 PM
Sure, give the teachers something else to be responsible for. Thanks.
Posted by: Lulu | October 08, 2006 at 05:23 PM
CoolCat: What is the population of Britain, Australia and Canada combined? Is it that much smaller than that of the U.S.? I'll have to look it up.
Lulu: Come on, that's why you teachers get paid the big bucks.
Posted by: Creepy | October 08, 2006 at 05:45 PM
According to what I found online, the population of the US is roughly 3 times that of England, Canada and Australia combined. However, the number of gun related murders in the US is roughly 43 times of that in England, Canada and Australia combined. I would say we have a problem.
Posted by: Creepy | October 08, 2006 at 08:38 PM
I dunno, Shroomy--I've done the brazilian, done the Nair (ow!), hate shaving...but I found one product that actually works--Veet. Three minutes from start to finish.
And I never leave you my number. I just assume that you know who it is when I tell you my name.
Posted by: bootie | October 09, 2006 at 06:49 AM
Here are the populations:
U.S 297,994,910
Australia 20,217,991
Canada 32,930,398
UK 60,518,013
I'm not saying we don't have a problem, but it's not really comparing apples to apples.
There are many unique factors to each of these countries. Though we may have three times the population what percentage of that population lives in large cities compared with the other countries for example. Also, there are socio and economic factors to consider, not to mention access to guns. The UK for example still have violent crime, especially in London, but it's mainly stabbings.
Also, when you add the three coutries population and averagesw and compare them to our averages you have a worthless statistic. Averaging averages is a big no no in stats land.
Posted by: JACC | October 10, 2006 at 04:01 PM