A very devout guy I know of mine created a Facebook profile last week and added me as a "friend." I confirmed his request, and all was good. This week he removed me as a "friend," blaming it on my profile picture:
It wasn't a surprise, or a big deal to me -- what was surprising was that he added me as a friend in the first place, knowing that most of his other friends were devout like him.
Regardless, today I decided to fuck around with him, via e-mails to a mutual friend (who is still one of his Facebook friends), on which he was cc'd.
Me: "Can you (the third party) believe he deleted me as a friend from Facebook because of my profile pic? Isn’t that censorship? Or is it discrimination?"
Him: "Dude, you have giant Ouija board tattooed to your back."
Me: "And??? Is that akin to having a naked lady tattooed on my back?"
Him: "No, that’s like having a tattoo that says, 'the devil is cool.'"
Me: "Um, a Ouija board has less than nothing to do with the devil. (If one existed.) It’s a toy made by Parker Brothers, sold in toy stores across the country. It’s a board game."
Him: "Please, they were originally 'talking boards' created in china in the 1800’s. If it was so tame, why would you get a tattoo of it in the first place? Why not get the monopoly board tattooed on your back?"
Me: "Who did those people communicate with these boards back then, the tooth fairy? Santa Claus? El Chupacabra?"
Him: "Look, it all falls under 'spiritism' which is condemned in the Bible. The act of even trying to communicate with spirits, or the dead is condemned in the Bible. The problem is that even though there are no such things as ghosts, (dead people are just dead) there is Satan and his demons. Any time you 'communicate with the dead' your (sic) communicating with Satan or his demons. They are more than happy to pretend to be your dead relative because that all throws doubt on what is said in the bible. Satan would love everyone to just think it’s a kids toy, just like he loves that many people don’t think he is real."
Me: "First of all, I am not trying to communicate with anyone. It’s a piece of body art. Second of all, are you for real?"
Him: "It’s a warning. Don’t forget that Satan thrives on deceit, trying to make God out to be a liar. So, when God says that there are no ghosts yet you see a spirit medium communicating with something that really appears to be a dead person you would naturally start to wonder. So God not only tells us these things don’t exist, but gives a good warning about who is behind these things.
The bible condemns spiritism (talking to the dead, ghosts, whatever) because of who is behind it, Satan. God says there is no such thing as Ghosts, spirits and the like. Satan says ‘No, God is wrong, these things do exist.' If you get involved with spiritism, your getting involved with Satan, very simple. Also, when these bible verses were written, spiritism was VERY popular. It was believed that you could talk to the dead and to spirits. God’s people were being warned not to get involved with these things because Satan was behind it and it was contrary to what God taught his people. "
This is where the communications ended, as I realized I was talking to a crazy person. As crazy as the day is long. How is this guy different from the drooling lunatics they have wearing straight jackets in rubber rooms? Other than the fact that the majority of the people in this country are just as crazy as he is (including the Republican Vice Presidential candidate). What year is this again?
Excuse me, I'm going to feed my pet invisible pink unicorn.
Hah! I got you on this one! If he's invisible, how do you know he's pink?
Posted by: Larry "The Snake Guy" | September 18, 2008 at 03:13 AM
First of all, the tattoo is way cool, now I want to get one of maybe a scrabble board or a deck of tarot cards.. You are so inspirational..
Second, that guy is a crazy person. The way he talks has just confirmed that God (if he does exist which I still think he does, kinda) is a pussy instead of the Almighty. I mean, if he is such an almighty being, why should he care if people communicate with Satan? Why not just bazooka Satan? That would be a solution rather than being a wuss and threaten mankind not to ever speak to Satan 'or else'..
good riddance, i say.. just add me instead, I'm mostly sane and I sometimes communicate with Satan, he's my butler.
Posted by: rima fauzi | September 18, 2008 at 04:00 AM
That guy is nutso, and the tattie, is the coolest I ever did see! I had my first taste of facebook drama this week, and it made me want to punch someone in the back of the head. That feeling lasted all of a half a day, and now I realize the person is just a moron. Hey, I didn't know you were on facebook. Feel free to facebook me ok?!
Posted by: Mellowlee | September 18, 2008 at 09:14 AM
Brilliant tattoo man, absolutely mindfuckingly superb!!! How could anyone not love it? What a dork you mate is! Me, I've got a birthmark that's shaped liked a small birthmark on my leg, but I talk to it nonetheless, ask it questions, pray to it, sacrifice virgins to it, etc. The advantage over a tttoo is that it never hurt, it just was always there, like the universe, and be I don't get dumped offa Fuckbook cause of it.
nods sagely.
Posted by: E@L | September 18, 2008 at 12:29 PM
Larry: faith, naturally.
Rima: What's scary is the majority of the world believes like this.
And if Satan was such a threat and God was so loving he would eliminate the threat. If both existed and Satan was such a malicious force in this world, out to corrupt God’s children, who he loves, why not just make him disappear. Sleep with the fishes. Whack him and bury him in a shallow grave.
Why draw this whole thing out? As a responsible, loving parent would you leave something as harmful as a loaded gun lying around your house to potentially harm your child, or would you intervene on behalf of your child’s welfare and remove the potentially harmful item from your household?
E@L: Does your birthmark resemble Jesus, or the (allegedly) Virgin Mary???
Posted by: Creepy | September 18, 2008 at 06:37 PM
If I were God and think that Satan is so annoying, I'd just euthanize him and also the geeks and the ugly. Or, I could invite him over for a poker game and beer while making fun of the geeks and the ugly.
That dude's God is impotent as opposed to being omnipotent.
Are we facebook buddies already? I think we are, but just wanted to make sure..
cheers dude, have a magnificent weekend! I'm going to North Holland (the land of legal weed) and Im gonna have a BLAST!
Posted by: rima fauzi | September 19, 2008 at 05:21 AM
Rima: You're my kinda chick. We're not Facebook friends, but shoot me an e-mail and we'll see what we can work out (I'm trying to keep my blog as anonymous as possible).
Smoke a fatty of the kindest shit for me!
Posted by: Creepy | September 19, 2008 at 10:00 PM
Okay creep, tatt is cool - I have totally established that in other posts. As for buddys beliefs, I guess I am in league with Satan then too. Tonight I went out for drinks with a friend who needed to go out because it is the anniversary of her friends murder. In the context of First Nations beliefs she was with us. We pulled up a chair for her and put tabacco in front of her chair (tobacco is used for ceremonial purposes in FN culture) and had our drinks. Does this make me a satan worshiper? If you are familiar with the legacy of Indian Residential Schools in Canada and the states yes, it would. Ignorance of cultural can cause not only discrimination but genocide. I am of the belief that people should have their own beliefs but I read your blog because dogmatic beliefs can be A LOT more harmful than a guy that has a cool tattoo on his back and tells the truth.
Posted by: Slaygirl | September 20, 2008 at 04:52 AM
Very well said.
Posted by: Creepy | September 20, 2008 at 12:12 PM
Ahh, the beauty of brainwashing. That ex-friend of yours (or ex Facebook friend?) should just chill and watch the coming Bill Maher's Religulous. If he has some balls, that is.
Posted by: Diny | September 21, 2008 at 07:45 PM
He's still my "friend" when we're together. And if he did watch it he would respond to it with a half dozen sites contrasting what that show said. No original thought from him, just sites he Googled supporting his side.
You can't change their belief because it isn't up for change. I changed my opinion of abortion, after a lot of deep thought I decided my original stance was wrong. Faithful ain't open to change.
Posted by: Creepy | September 21, 2008 at 08:08 PM
well the bible does not condem it ...The holy ghost is a spirit Hmm so then the holy ghost is a demon to right so if we think of it that way then maybe god is a demon to and who else maybe the pope and all shakes my head at some people
Posted by: Jessica Walker | December 20, 2011 at 12:22 AM
Amen.
Posted by: Creepy | December 20, 2011 at 06:41 PM