I could really use a beer

Or a double bacon cheeseburger.  Or some hot chicken wings.  Or a pint of pistachio ice cream.  Something, anything.

I'm engaged in round two with diverticulitis and on a pair of antibiotics, hoping to keep my colon from perforating and myself out of the hospital.  (Nobody likes a colostomy bag.  Even Larry "the Snake Guy" can't make that argument... though I have a funny feeling he might try.)  My diet has consisted of plain white toast, plain saltine crackers, plain pasta, chicken soup, and sugar-free jello.

Add to that no sex in god knows how long and my life has suddenly become devoid of any pleasure whatsoever.  Seriously, what ranks ahead of food and sex?  Nothing, that's what.  I'm becoming delirious.  At this point I'd fuck a pizza with "the works." 

Nah, who am I kidding, I'd eat it.  I'd rather eat something delicious than fuck right now.  Experience has turned me into a sexual camel.  Tasty food, on the other hand, is not as easy to go without.  Neither is beer.  Mmmm, beer.  Ice-cold beer. 

As soon as I get the go ahead from my doctor I'm gonna turn into Caligula.  Without the sex, in all likelihood.

Comments

[Larry "The Snake Guy"]

See, that's the nice thing about pizza: You can eat most of it and just save one slice to roll up. :)

[Creepy]

The perfect food!

[Cormac Writes]

"At this point I'd fuck a pizza with "the works."

Er, just make sure that the cheese cools off and if not? I'll see you in that section of the paper where we'll mock you along with the guys that use deposit slips with their name on them, for bank robbing notes.

[Creepy]

Thanks for the warning. I've burned the roof of my mouth a hundred times, can't imagine what it would do to Little Creepy.